Helpful Hints for New Recruits at Cherub
by Yellow Flash 7
Summary: Random bit of humor me and my friend decided to write the title tells all, funnyer then it looks. Second chapter up
1. Oh Randomness

**A/N Hi everybody my first fanfic, Yay. It's random and very funny, and it's my first so please review please, first on to review gets the next chapter dedicated do them. So here it is my first fanfic.**

**Disclaimer:Don't own any of it except the plot.**

**Helpful Hints for New Recruits at Cherub.**

Prologue

Oh Randomness

_At a street corner outside my house._

"There late!" "Very late", Fred yelled. "Where are they?"

"Hi Fred."

"Oh, you're late Cameron!"

"Its only 1 past 12:00

"Oh riiiiiiiight, well I'm bored, what to you want to talk about."

"How about that new movie, Eragon."

"Yeah, sure I heard it's coming out the 15th of the 12th."

"Wow really."

_George comes walking up carrying a book._

"Hi guys" _Sits down and starts reading his book._

"Hi George"

"I also hear it's got really good graphics."

"Wow it will look good then,"

_George says out loud_" "Stupid new recruits don't they know anything?"

_Fred and George look at him._ "What the?"

"That's Brilliant! Fred yells."

"That is Brilliant! George yells back."

"Did I miss something?" Cameron asks.

"I just got to think of some, I will meet you at your house in 5 minuets." "Bye Cameron."_ Fred Rushes off._

"Yeah bye Cameron."_ George Rushes off._

"What the heck just happened?"

"What was that book George was reading?"_ Picks up George's book._

"Cherub."

"Hmmmm note to self read Cherub."

"Note to self eat ice cream." "Ice cream where?"

"Bye guys."_ Cameron rushes off._

"_I got to stop speaking to my self." _Cameron thought as he rushed off.

A/N so did you love it, hate it, think it's awful, please tell me and review it is my first fanfic, like I said the first person to review gets the next chapter dictated to them yay. ( these aren't out real names by the way but I really like Harry Potter so Fred and George, my little joke, more humor and randomness next chapter bye.)


	2. The hints

**A/N sorry sorry sorry I had exams studing not time to update will here is is. Yay my next chapter yay this Chapter is dedicated to Oksana my first reviewer yay so here's My next chapter. Thanks to everyone for reviewing**

**Helpful Hints for New Recruits at Cherub.**

**The Hints**

Chapter 1.

_At George's place._

"Hello hello hello and Welcome to the first segment of Helpful Hints for New Recruits." said Fred to the video camera.

"Your wonderful hosts me George."

"And me Fred."

"And this is airing to you at Cherub and only Cherub it's a Cherub exclusive."

"You know that sounds really stupid." Fred told George.

"What George is trying to say is that only people at Cherub will see this."

"Yes we thought the New Recruits were acting a bit stupid so we decided to give them some helpful hints."

"Now with out any further introductions."

"Cause this segment has had way too many."

"We give you."

"Helpful Hints for New,"

"Recruits."

"Here are the Hints."

(A/N I am changing to this form just to let you know.)

F: Hint 1: learn how to swim before coming to Cherub, or you will have a very painful experience with the pool, in other words two older boys will keep on throwing you into the pool until you swim 50 meters, very painful.

G: you got that right!

G: Hint 2: Do NOT! And I repeat do Not! Get into any fights at Cherub until you can defend yourself.

F: Why? Because everyone is at least a black belt and you will get your butt kicked,

G: literally!!!

F: Hint 3: When your, on a grafting mission where you have to destroy stuff, wile other people copy papers and stuff,

G: DO NOT; throw the Grand piano into the swimming POOL!!!

F: Cause that's just stupid.

G: Hint 4: If you were as stupid as to do the last hint, just run like.. a… like a…

F: like a giant boulder was right behind you!

G: what?!

F: hey it was the best I could come up with!!!

G: fine, fine.

F: Hint 5: If when running, (from doing Hint 3) and the cops catch you.

G: Do not!!! Fight back.

F: Or you will end up like Kyle.

G: Smashed and with a broken nose and arm, hehehehehehe.

G: Hint 6: If you get yourself a girlfriend.

F: Which is highly unlikely.

G: Make sure you stay on her good side.

F: Or you will hurt in places you didn't know you had.

G: Or you will be the laughing stock of Cherub.

F: either one,

G: Just ask James Adams.

F: Hint 7: We are serious about Hint 3.

G: Yes if you do Hint 3 you will be sent on a recruitment mission.

F: and that's just nasty.

G: Hint 8: speaking of recruitment missions, when you leave the Home you are at with the new recruit.

F: Do not Trash!!! The Home's bully's room.

G: Or you will be sent on another recruitment mission.

F: Hint 9: But if you find some ipods and that sort of stuff in the bully's room, TAKE It!!! And then sell it.

G: Fred!!!

F: What, they need to take every opportunity they can.

G: rigggght

F: And our last Hint for this segment is

G: Always take a shower.

F: WHAT!!! That's commen sense.

G: haven't you noticed that the new recruits really smell bad.

F: Oh right. In that case always take a shower.

G: This is George

F: And Fred signing off.

(A/N changing again.)

"Well that went pretty well for our first segment." "Don't you think." Asked Fred.

"Yeah that did go well." Replied George.

_Suddenly Cameron rushes past screaming._

"My butt is on fire!!!"

"Well that was random." Fred remarked.

_Cameron rushes past again, screaming._

"Help there is a bunch of homicidal wallabies after me."

_A bunch of wallabies rush past after Cameron._

"Hey that's Lord Wallaby." Fred said.

"Who the heck is Lord Wallaby?"

"He is the arch rival of Lord Fluffikins

"Who's he?"

"Here read this." Fred said as he tossed some paper at George.

George read it quickly.

"But that means, Lord Wallaby wants to take over Australia.

"Glad we aren't there." George said.

"We are there stupid." Fred said. We have to leave now.

"OK."

"To England!!!" George Shouts.

**A/N He He He cliffy I will try to update as soon as I can. But I need to think of more Hints please help me. **

**Ps if you want to find out more about Lord Fluffikins go to dark-neko9 profile and read her great and wonderful books, do it now or else**


	3. The Squirrels attack

**A/N Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry but it's a bit hard to write fan fiction about helpful hints when someone doesn't remember to think of hints.**

**George. What!**

**Any way this chapter may contain content that may offend some girls, me and George do not think like this.**

**George: Speak for yourself.**

**Fred: I am stupid. **

**Disclaimer: none of it's mine not even Lord Fluffikins.**

Chapter 2

The Squirrels Attack.

we are finally away from Lord Wallaby.' Fred remarked.

'Yeah we can do the show here in England.' George replied.

Suddenly this guy runs up and tells Fred and George.

'Sooooo sorry guys you cannot do the show here it is to close to Cherub.'

'Sooooo find another country.'

'Great.' Fred said.

'I know, to Canada!'

'Wait! No George not there.'

BOOM!!!

_In Canada._

'What were you saying again?'

'Oy, Lord Fluffikins has taken over Canada.' Fred implied.

'Oh right, to Mexico!'

'No!'

_In Mexico._

'He's taken over that too." Fred said again.'

'To Japan!'

'Here we go again.'

_In Japan_

''Ummmm George, Lord Fluffikins is taking over Japan right now.' 'Have a look.' Fred said pointing at a giant squirrel army.

'Ohhhh right, ok then.'

'To the Nile!'

'What the heck!'

_At the Nile River._

'All right don't tell me the squirrels are here too.'

'Noooo.'

'Thank goodness.'

'But there is no reception at the Nile!'

'What!' 'Sure there is.'

'No there isn't.' 'Check'

George switches on the camera, and nothing happens.

'Oh I guess you were right.'

'To the middle of the Pacific Ocea…'

'Wait!' 'George stop!' 'Let me do it.'

'Ok'

'Thank you.'

'To Italy.'

_In Italy_

'Thank goodness, we can do the show here, in the middle of the Coliseum.' Fred thankfully said.

'All right then lets start the show.'

(Switching again.)

F: Hi I'm Fred

G: And I'm George

F: And we're back with our second segment, of Helpful Hints for New Recruits.

G: Yeah sorry about being late, but we got a bit sidetracked

F: One thing George

G: Yeah

F: How the heck did we get from Australia to Canada to Mexico to Japan to the Nile and finally end up in Italy, in less than 5 minutes without an airplane?

G: I have no idea what so ever, but let's get on with the show.

F: Ok. Hint 11: Don't ever tell or let your brother/sister find out about a secret, this may hurt you in the future, they may blackmail you.

G: Yeah just ask James.

F: Hehehehehe, James got blackmailed by a 12 year old.

G: yeah that was funny. Hint: 12 When Kyle offers you answers for an assignment make sure you check what missions are coming up.

F: yeah you might not need to take the subject, and end up wasting your well earned precious money.

G: Hint 13: When Kyle tells you "foolproof plans" to get some more money DO NOT LISTEN.

F: You will probably end up broke.

G: One of them worked though.

F: Which one?

G: Doesn't matter.

F: Hint 14: Never hit an instructor with a shovel, (this might be obvious.)

G: Unless they want to.

F: George!

G: What? He was mean.

F: They might get kicked out of Cherub

G: Fine

F: Hint 15: Never just ask a girl onto a mission, just because they have a big chest.

G: What! That's the whole point so you can perv on them.

F: This leads to Hint 16: When on missions don't perv on girls in showers.

G: What! You need your head examined. Not perv on girls what is the world coming to.

F: All girls reading this just ignore him, or better bash him for me (he lives in Baulkham Hills)

F: George did your father ever tell you about the birds and the bees, and possibly the storks.

G: Nope, I learnt everything I know from a helpful hint book.

F: Called?

G: Sex for teenagers.

F: What the heck? (Great that means I will have to tell him, oh no.)

G: Hint 17 make sure you are not afraid of jumping out of planes; you never know who might push you.

F: Yeah be careful

G: Hohoho. James got pushed out of an airoplane, hehehe.

F: Hint 18: Always have a brio handy.

G: Why?

F: There are 5 ways to kill someone with a brio

G: Really? Awesome!

F: Hint 19: Never hide your girlfriend in a cupboard.

G: Duh why would you do that, that's just stupid?

F: You thought of it.

G: Yeah but it sounds worse when, you say it.

F: Whatever, (mister jealous pants.)

G: What you say?

F: Nothing, get on with the next hint.

G: You do it.

F: Fine. Hint 20: There are 3 things that will get you kicked out of Cherub, drugs, extreme drunkenness and underage sex.

G: But those are the fun things in life.

F: George we really have to have a talk about the birds and the bees.

G: And the storks.

F: Oh for the love of Pete.

G: This is George

F: and Fred

G: Singing off.

(Switching again)

'Yer think that was a good segment.' George asked curiously

'Fine." Fred said distractingly 'You know we really need to have that talk about….'

Suddenly a guy runs in from outside the Coliseum.

'Ahhhhhh, the squirrels are attacking, it's Lord Fluffikins.

'Oh no, he found us.' George exclaimed

'We can't keep running.' Fred said 'Its time for drastic measures.'

'Just what I thought.' George said holding up a bazooka

'Not that drastic.'

'Where'd you get that anyway?!'

'It was in my pocket' George said eating a sandwich, which he also got from his pocket.

'Uhhh, do you have a laptop in there with wireless internet?' Fred said nervously.

'Hang on I'll check.' George said as he started rummaging in his pocket.

'Mug, table, cat, so that's where I put my cat, cat food, shotgun, ammo, pistol, CD player, chair, another chair, a third chair, since when did I get so many chairs? Come on where'd I put it, power supply, fake mustache.'

'How much stuff to you have in there???'

'Don't know, speedboat, private jet, here we are, a laptop with wireless internet, here yer go Fred.'

'Thanks.' Fred said not sure about trusting something that had come out of George's pocket.

Fred turned on the laptop and logged onto the local wesite for when squirrels attack.

What ya looking for?' George asked, still eating his sandwich

Where is it?' Fred said as he scrolled down.

'There it is." George said, pointing at something on the laptop.

'Hmmmm.' 'Yep this is the one.' Fred said.

'Read it out.'

'Ok.' Fred started to read. 'If you are being attacked by a giant squirrel army made up of squirrels, chipmunks, other fury things and turtles and you are afraid that they will kill everyone, and take over Italy, which will help them take over the world. Please click here.

'Wow, that was a strange coincidence' Fred said as he clicked to go to the site.

'Yeah." George agreed.

'Lets see, what does this say?' Fred started reading instructions. "First get 10 giant peanuts.'

George starts running of to a hospital.

'What?' 'Not those kind of nuts.' Fred said while clicking on; order 10 giant peanuts right now!

Suddenly 10 giant peanuts fall from the sky.

'Wow, that's good service.' George said.

'Yeah it is.' Fred started to read again, 'Next get one private jet, George!'

'Got it!'

'Good, load the nuts on to the bottom of the plane and fly it over the squirrels, lead them to a desert or somewhere.

'Got ya' George said as he flew of over the squirrel army.'

In a few minutes time George suddenly appears beside Fred. 'I led them to the Nile.'

'Fine' Fred said 'Ah George, where's the jet?'

'What?' 'Oh dang, I left it with the squirrel army.'

'Wait, you left a squirrel army in the middle of the Nile with a private jet?'

'Yep' George said cheerfully

'You idiot!' Fred said while slapping his head. "Now go and get it back."

'Sure' George said, as he pulled out a fighter jet from his pocket and flew of, before Fred could say anything.

In a few hours time George finally appears.

'Where have you been?'

'Well, I went to the Nile, and I met this really hot chick and I took her to the movies and then we went out to lunch, and then I appeared back here.'

'You mean to say you left a giant squirrel army in the middle of the Nile with a private jet and a fighter jet.'

'Yep, you want me go get them back?' George asked ready to pull something out of his pocket.

'No!!!' Fred yelled at George 'we'll just go back to Australia; Lord Wallaby should have gone by now.

'Ok, To Jamaica!'

'George!' 'That was the wrong country,' Fred yelled as they disappeared.

_In Jamaica_

As soon as George and Fred appeared,

Fred yelled out 'To Australia!' Before George could even say a word.

_In Australia_

'Few that was a tiring segment.' Fred said as he fell down in his chair.

'Yep but you still have to give me that talk.' George reminded him.

'Oh no.'

**A/N Hey ya that sure was funny, well tune in next time for more Helpful hints for New Recruits **


	4. George's Pocket or George the dog

A/N: Hello to all my faithful readers (I hope) here is the next chapter in my book Helpful Hints for New Recruits

**A/N: Hello to all my faithful readers (I hope) here is the next chapter in my book Helpful Hints for New Recruits. Please excuse my spelling, I have no beta, I need one. Alright here is the next chapter. Also any words in brackets are my thoughts and not author notes (unless it says so)**

_**George's Pocket Or **_

_**George the Dog**_

_At Fred's house_

"Shit!!, I can't believe I woke up so late." Fred yelled "George is going to kill me!!" Fred yelled again as he jumped out of bed and quickly got dressed, then ran down the steps, still yelling random curses. "See ya Mum, I'll be at George's house!" Fred said, as he grabbed an apple and ran out the front door.

_Outside George's House_

"George, George, open up already!" Fred yelled as he banged George's front door. "Hello dear." Surprisingly George's mum opened the door.

"Ah, hi… ummm… where's George??" Fred asked

"Oh, well… he went to Taylor's…"

"Oh no!!"

"Yeah and now he thinks he's a dog"

"What!?"

"Yes, you can go into see him if you like."

"Yeah I um… think I will thanks." Fred said as he walked into the house and started looking for George.

"He's in the living room dear" George's mum said as she went off to hang up the clothes.

"George? George? Come on where are yo…" Fred was cut off as George thinking he was a dog, came bounding from Fred's left and knocked him over onto the ground; rigorously licking Fred's face.

"George! George!, George!, Stop licking me." Fred exclaimed while pushing George off him. George promptly got of him, and started running around on all fours chasing the tail he had suddenly grown.

"Oh no!" Fred exclaimed as he suddenly realised he needed to call Taylor fast before this got anymore out of hand. "Where's the phone? Where's the phone?" Fred yelled as he ran around, meanwhile George went and opened the fridge to get some food. (Hey I didn't say he wasn't a smart dog) "There it is!!" Fred exclaimed as he picked up the phone. "Now to ring Taylor. Hey Taylor is that you"

"Hello man, comment ca va?" Robert said as he picked up the phone (Taylor works as Robert's assistant)

"Robert is that you?"

"Ce ce" Robert said in Spanish.

"What? Did you use your languagechangythingimabob?"

"Ce!!"

"Just put Taylor on the phone"

"Oky doky, Chow"

"Hey Fred that you?" Taylor said in a slightly worried voice, afraid he was going to get the yelling of a lifetime (Yep he was right)

"You idiot!!" Fred yelled "How many times have I told you not to do experiments on George, I need him for the show"

"Ruff ruff bark" (translation: that's right!!)

"Now, he thinks he is a dog!!"  
"YES! It worked, ummmm… Yeah it should wear off in about an hour."

"RUFF! ruff, bark ruff bark." (Translation: Oh nuts I can't pee anywhere anymore in a hour)

"But I need to do the show now!!"

"Just get Cameron to do it" Taylor said

"Genius! Thanks Taylor, bye." Fred said ringing off."

"Now how do I get in contact with Cameron, I don't know his phone number." Fred wondered, "Well I could just yell his name randomly into the air, yeah that might just work." (Poor Fred, seems the pressure has gotten to him.)

"Cameron!!" Fred yelled randomly into the air. Suddenly white smoke appeared and (fanfare music please) Cameron stepped out of it.

"Hi guys" He said, as Fred and George's mouths just hit the floor.

"Wow, wow Cameron I'm so glad you're here." Fred exclaimed.

"Hey Fred since when did you get a dog?"

"Actually..." Fred dragged Cameron off into a corner to explain to him what had happened to George.

"So what do you want me to do?" Cameron said.

"Well I want you to do the show with me, and subdue George while you're at it."

"Sure, I'll do the show but why do you want me to seduce George?" Cameron said mixing up the words a little

"Well, I need you to so he will not get angry at me and possibly eat me."

Little did they know George had finished eating and was listening in to their conversation. (Wow he can understand English, he is a smart dog.) And was thinking of ways to get back at them, mainly involving his secret pocket. (You know, the one from Chapter 2.)

"Alright, I'll do it, just let me go and get some stuff." Cameron said disappearing in another puff of smoke.

"Wow, how the heck did he do that?" Fred asked.

"_Special effects!!"_

"What? Who said that?" Fred wondered now worried he was going crazy on top everything."

"_Us, the extremely handsom__e and wonderfully smart authors who control your entire lives, get over it._

"You mean that everything I have ever done you've controlled."

"_Yes!! Now on with the story, (And cue Cameron.)_

"What the heck happened?" Fred wondered holding his head as Cameron appeared dressed as a prostitute complete with sex toys of many different kinds.(Whoa, where did that spew from? man am I revolted, and I'm writing this thing!!) "WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU WEARING??" Fred yelled as George fainted. "ARE YOU TRYING TO BE A FEMALE PROSTITUTE?? (A/N please do not try and visualize this image, as it might cause death or extreme emotional stress and/or heart attack, (I am in no way responsible for any deaths and/or injury caused by imagining this image) Thank you)

"Well you said seduce George" Cameron said trying to be sexy. (Oh please, no more)

"I said subdue, not seduce you idiot, now go and change before I have a heart attack and have to sue the authors of this book for killing me off. (Hey!!)

"Fine, fine, I'll go and change" Cameron said with a huff, and disappeared in another puff of smoke.

"Well that was extremely disturbing, besides the fact that he actually keeps that stuff in his bedroom" Fred said to George who had regained consciousness.

"Ruff, ruff" (translation: I will be sacred for life!)  
Suddenly Cameron reappeared dressed in a lion tamers suit, complete with chair, whip, and doggie treats.

"Glad you have a sense of humour mate!" Fred said sarcastically "Now get on with it, as I start the hints."

"Fine, fine" Cameron said, as he dragged George away from the fridge, and started training him.

(Switching to script form)

F: Hello everybody sorry we're late, I'm Fred, and George, is currently a dog, so Cameron will be doing the hints with me today.

C: That's right; back you dog, back, have some doggie treats.

G: ruff, bark bark, ruff…(Translation: I'll get you for this, I'll…Hey these aren't half bad.)

F: Now on with the hints (Finally)

C: Hint 21: Always carry a knife on your body you never know when it might come in handy.

F: Yeah remember what Lauren did to that man.

C: Yep, the one thing that should never be done to a male.

G: ruff, bark, and ruff (Translation: got that right, man these treats are tasty.)

F: Hint 22: Never forget your phone somewhere

C: Yeah remember what happened to James, man, he got stuck in Russia.

F: Yeah, I remember.

G: ruff, bark, ruff, bark, woof. (Translation: That's about to happen to you two, I hope)

F: What's he saying?  
C: He wants more treats!!

G: ruff!! (Translation: No I don't, well actually I do, but that's not the point.)

C: anyway Hint 23: If you are on a mission inside a cult, never actually become "one of them"

F: Yeah, that might be useful, so you don't forget your mission, or your friends, or your…

G: ruff!! (Cheese)

F: Yeah that.

C: I think he said Cheese.

F: what now you can speak dog!!

C: ummmm, Hint 24: Always lock the door when cheating on your girlfriend/boyfriend, this is a must, look what happened with James and Danna.

F: What, why the heck would you want to cheat on your girlfriend/boyfriend??

G: I, ruff ruff of many bark. (Translation: I can think of many reasons) Suddenly George, started changing back into human form. (He is half-dog half-human right now, so imagine that.)

(Changing back)

"What the heck?" Fred exclaimed forgetting he was on camera.

"He's changing back into a human" Cameron said, while George quickly ran off into his room

"Where is he going" Cameron wondered

"Oh no!!" Fred yelled "he's going to get his pocket into another dimension"

"How did you know that?" Cameron said.

"I read it on this script the author dropped. (Hey give that back!!)

Suddenly George ran back in, carrying his pants with his special pocket in it to another dimension.

"Careful with that thing George" Fred said worriedly

"Who knows what it can do?" Cameron added

"I've woof, bark, pocket, woof bark, ruff, bark (I've got my pocket and I'm going to use it)

"WTF??" Fred and George said looking at each other.

George suddenly opened the pocket wider then he ever had before.

"No George!!" Fred yelled, as time and space started to rip apart "Time and space are ripping apart" (Hey, I said that already)

Suddenly in an extremely uninteresting way, they were all sucked into the pocket. (A/N, I couldn't be bothered to write all the action, so just image that they were sucked into a black hole.)

"AhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhI'm falling, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….  
"Cameron, shut up!!" Fred yelled, from inside a very stinking pile of old underwear"

'Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm still falling"

"Slap!!" Fred slapped Cameron "Your not falling you idiot, we are in George's pocket, in a pile of extremely stinky underwear."

"Oh, right" Cameron said embarrassed.

"Hey guys!" George said from the ground as Fred and Cameron, struggled out of the pile of stinking underwear.

Fred and George looked at each other, each grabbed some underwear from the giant stinking pile of underwear. They then both jumped down and proceeded to jam the underwear from the stinking pile of underwear (pre motioned) onto his head.

"Hey, hey what are you doing??" George said (Now fully human again) "This underwear really smells bad!!"

"Of course it does, it's yours from that giant pile of stinking underwear." Fred and Cameron yelled, still jamming the underwear from the giant pile of stinking underwear onto his head.

"Hey! Hey! stop it guys!, it's not like I sucked you into my pocket or anything." Fred and George were so stunned that they stopped jamming the underwear from the giant pile of stinking underwear, onto his head.

"Oh, wait a second; I did suck us into my pocket didn't I?" George said taking the underwear from the giant stinking pile of underwear off his head.

"Yes you did, you idiot!!" Fred and Cameron both said, as they backed away. "And you also made us fall into that stinking pile of underwear.

"Nooooo, that was just chance that we fell into that stinking pile of underwear." Fred corrected.

"Hey guys have you noticed we keep on saying; a giant stinking pile of underwear" George asked (mainly to stop Fred and George bashing him)

"Yeah, I have noticed that" Cameron wondered.

"Well I know why." Fred said "It's because our author needs money." (I do, I need more money.)

"What kind of a reason is that??" Cameron asked looking at Fred in a weird way, as George pulled out a mobile and started dialling someone.

"Well since he needed money, he decided to sponsor the giant stinking pile of Underwear Company!" (Yeah, I think this is funny!!)

"WTF!!" Cameron and George both yelled.

"What??, It's the truth!!" Fred yelled out

Suddenly from over the giant stinky pile of underwear (Yeah I'll stop now) a voice said

"Hey George!! Did you fall into your pocket again?"

"What?!" Cameron, George and Fred all said together as they turned towards the person striding down the pile. "Hey purvey sage" George yelled (Hey I had writer's block!!)

"I told you not to call me that in public!!" The stranger yelled

"Sorry, purvey sage!" George said again.

"George!!" The stranger yelled again

During this exchange Cameron and Fred's mouths were hanging wide open. "Who is this guy??" they both yelled at George.

"Oh, right, you know Jiyara from the world of Naruto?"

"Yeah…" Fred said, wondering where this was going.

"Well, this is his nephew, Takeoshin." George finished. (I told you, I had writer's block.)

'Well, since that is so hard to pronounce we will just call you Tak, OK?" Fred asked Tak.

"Yeah, sure that's fine, now on with my question what are you doing in George's pocket??"

"Oh, he sucked us in here to get revenge on us for something to difficult to explain." Fred replied

"Hey guys" George said, "I just realised where we are."

"Yeah, in your pocket!!" Cameron yelled while slapping his head.

"No, I mean where we are in my pocket, there are many different locations in my pocket you know."

"Yeah and you landed in ancient Rome." Tak explained

"Then why are you here?" Fred asked, as Cameron started to explore, and George picked up the video camera (which was still recording live to Cherub) "You're from China."

"Oh, George pays me to look after his pocket for him, and the reason you fell into that underwear pile was because that's where George stores all his dirty underwear."

"Well that explains the smell!" Fred exclaimed

"Hey guys" George said "The video camera is still recording live you know?"

"Oh…"

"Shit!!" Cameron yelled as he started being chased by Roman soldiers, "Run for your lives!!"

"Fred, shall we run for our lives?" George said calmly as Tak began to run after Cameron

"Yes George, I think we shall" Fred said as he started to run after the others.

"Quick guys! Behind this conveniently placed giant catapult" Tak yelled as Fred and George made a mad dash for the catapult.

"Wow that was close." Cameron said as the soldiers rushed past them

"Yeah it was. Hey George you still got the camera?" Fred asked

"Yep, and it's still recording live!"

"Well, lets do the hints here then!"

"Here??" George, Cameron and Tak all exclaimed

"Yep"

"Alright, lets go."

(A/N switching again)

F: Hint 25: Watch out for rumours on campus about you, they can be painful to your ego and social status.

G: Yep, just look at James

C: What rumours about James?

T: The one about him rooting Dana, and looking at porn daily, and owning a bitch which he has sex with…

G: You made that one up!

C: But I wouldn't put it past him

F: Wait, I wasn't talking about James…

G: On with the next Hint!

C: Hint 26: Never blackmail you sister/brother, if you want to stay on good terms with the Chairman/women.

F: I still can't get over how Lauren blackmailed her brother!

G: She must really like Rat to blackmail her own brother

T: But didn't they break up?

C: Over boredom, because they were too young for the older stuff yet.

G: What?? That's bull!!

C: I think they will get back…

_Fred cuts him off_

F: SHUT UP! What are you? A bunch of Cherub groupies?

T/C/G: Sorry

F: Hint 27: Watch out for crazy people on your missions, especially if they like you.

G: Unless it's a hot girl

C/T: WTF??

G: Yeah, then you can have sex with them easier…

C/T: Oh, right...

F: Stop that you idiots, this is supposed to be a child friendly show!!

C/T/G: _looking at camera. _It is??

F: Oh for the love of Pete, next Hint!

T: Hint 28: Always remember to pack swimming shorts.

F: Oh gosh, yes!! Kyle's dick is one thing you do not want to see!

C: I second that!

G: How would you now?

F: I'm not GAY!! I have a girlfriend you idiot!

G: Sorry

C: 39: Never have sex in a kitchen

G: Why not? All that food, just imagine a nice cucumber, shoved right up…

_Fred kicks him in the balls as Cameron and Tak look on in amazement_

F: SHUT UP, SHUT UP, _Fred kicks George again an again_

T: While Fred's beating up George…

C: We cut to an add break!

_Tak and Cameron rush out and then come back in dressed in mascot costumes_

T: Helpful Hints for New Recruits is brought to you by…

C: The Giant Underwear Company

T: Providing you with giant underwear, for all your giant underwear needs.

F: What the heck are you doing??

C: Opps, back to the Hints

G: _struggling up from the floor _and the last hint for this segment is Hint 30: Watch out for flying pigs

C/T: WTF!!

F: George, do your balls need to say hello, to my foot again?

G: No! No! Look out the soldiers are back!

(A/N Switching back)

"Nice try George!" Fred said as he advanced on George.  
"No! It is the soldiers!" Tak yelled as a bunch of Roman centurions spotted them and started to run at them "Quick every one into the catapult we'll launch ourselves back into the real world!"

"Come on George!" Fred yelled as him, Tak, and Cameron jumped into the catapult and got ready to launch it.

"You sure this is safe?" George asked

"Just get in!" Fred yelled

George jumped into the catapult just a Fred cut the string, launching them up into the air and out of the pocket.

"Man that was close!" Cameron exclaimed as he struggled out of the dirty laundry he had landed in. "Did any one get the camera?"

"Yeah, I did." Fred said "George get off me!"

"Sorry, hey where's Tak?

"Shit!!"

"That's him!" Cameron said, as he looked around for Tak

"I landed in the toilet!!" Tak yelled as he walked out of the bathroom, with his hair dripping.

"It's not funny!!' Tak yelled at Fred, George and Cameron, as they rolled around on the ground laughing.

"Yes….yes…it…is!" Fred managed to say before breaking out in laughter once again.

'Yeah I guess it is a bit funny" Tak said as he began to laugh too.

"Join us next time on Helpful Hints for New Recruits!" George said to the camera, before he started laughing again.

**A/N: Finally the third chapter is finished; the next one will hopefully be up soon.**


End file.
